TYPE 1

Kyle will prob be upset about me writing about this , but i have to get it off my chest !!!
Ive been with Kyle for about 5 years now and I've  been dealing with his diabetes as well ! Which anyone who has to deal with a diabetic or has experienced any of it knows its not fun at all.. dealing with lows, highs,seizures, saving a life! 
Common symptoms of Kyle having a low are , disorientation, elevated heart rate, trembling sweating*, irritability, and seizures!!! Most of the time it seems like i can catch it before he has a seizure , he sweats a lot when hes low but
Waking up with Kyle having a seizure and looking at me  like help me even tho he cant talk and does no what the hell is going on period is prob the scariest thing ever and on top of it my children seeing it !Thank god we have taught them what to do just in case something happens to him !!!! both of my girl have experienced Kyle low and no what to do a most of the time they flag down the ambulance  ....I've had to call the ambulance prob 2 times cause i couldn't get any orange juice in his mouth ! What OJ does is its a natural sugar and it will increase his blood sugar if i cant get him to open his mouth and suck on a straw to drink his oj ill call the ambulance and they will give him a shot there's always that chance that he could go into a diabetic coma too :(
well the past month has just sucked so much we found out that he can not drink period cuz when he does hes body reacts to it diff and will boost his blood sugar through the roof and may cause to be a dangerous situation which i have experienced first hand  ! Never seen him that violent before and i no deep down that it wasn't him and kyle wouldn't touch a hair on my head but still scared the fuck out of me !!!! i debated on staying with him the next day  when he had to go into the er  and the doc explaining whats going on with him which was ketones...In diabetics it can be dangerous plus mixing liquor  so i took it all into consideration the drinking needs to stop !!!! which it has :)

I do have a resent story that happen a couple nights ago take still fucks with me !!!!
I  was sleeping heard Hixtin cry for 2 seconds ... laid there for a bit in the dark and then tapped kyle and whispered his name BTW i do this every night to make sure hes OK and not low ... Out of no where he gets up gets right in my face does hes bull shit German talk that he does when hes low and screams in my face like someone is killing him !!! grabs my throat and looks like hes going to punch me !!!! i literately screamed !!! its was so scary ! i grabbed his arms and yelled his name he finally settled down and started crying  well right away i get up and run down stairs to grab some OJ ! i get back up stairs check his blood sugar which was 40 he was low but not that low to pull some crazy shit like that ! got his blood sugar back to 75 and figured out he was having a nightmare on top of being low !!!!!!!!!! WTF HOW CRAZY IS THAT LETS HOPE THAT NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN !!!!!!! I SERIOUSLY CAN STILL PICTURE HIS FACE WHEN HE GRABBED MY NECK IT WAS SO DARK IN THERE BUT I CAN SEE IT CLEAR AS DAY SUPER SCARY !
I just sometimes wish he didn't get stuck with such a nasty disease ! Its taught me a lot but put me through a lot... my emotions  have been tested but just thinking that i am possibly saving his life is just crazy ! i cant imagine how he deals with it everyday of his life!!! Its has changed my life for the better in so many way and even eating healthier!!! In a crazy ass way its kind of beautiful saving his life and being there and honestly i wouldn't want it any other way ...Kudos to you babe and gold star for me ;)

Ba ba ti ki di do

Hello!!!!
    First things first the weather has been completely amazing ! I have been enjoying every second of it. Def ready to start planting flowers and making my yard look amazing again :) these are the flowers I have been thinking about planting in the front  Allium ! Aren't they amazing looking ?

Anyone who has seen my hair loves it and I just wanna say i love it also! It's my new color ... I got so sick and tired of dying it brown all the time . The only down fall is my hair is a little fried from it :( Ive been using leave in conditioner after i shower which seems to be helping a little with it .   

Work has been completely insane the past couple weeks from fights to car crashes and i seem to be working when all of it takes place ! Sick of the cops calling me ! I'm pretty confident in my job and i know i don't over serve. I don't know if this is some kind of test for me cuz i was given the assistant manager job or a sign i need a new profession:( my job is def getting judged cuz of all the craziness going on . Being a bartender kind of gives you different perceptive on people . Alot of negative thoughts and seeing how judgemental and hateful people really are .... I like everyone till you cross the line , i do not judge anyone and i try not to get emotionally involved in anything except doing my jobs around the bar!. Sometimes it saddens me .  You think ya being a bartender has to be such an easy job yes sometimes it is but most of the time ur dealing with drunks which isn't always fun and them driving,walking,fighting the bartender is responiable for all of it  ! I try to have as much fun at work as I can !!!

Oh I totally ordered a new painting for my house ! I fell in love with it when i seen it !

I guess thats all for now :)

Decisions

French toast or pancakes was the decision of the morning ...

of course the winner ! what the kids and i picked .... you gotta go with french toast add a little bit of cinnamon and sugar yummmm! not a big fan of the floury taste that you get with pan cakes

BUT

NEXT

WEEK

I GOING

TO TRY

THIS TO

MY

PANCAKES

Kind of new...

Not really sure how to start this. This blogger thing is kind of tricky to figure out !
I thought I'd give it a shot ! Since i made a big deal about what makes a person beautiful to others , I guess mine is diff than most i find beauty in everything ! I could find it in every person i meet :) def not going into detail with it now... maybe tomorrow i will.


What gets me the most is love ... If its actually out there ? We search for it for whole lives. These days it doesn't seem like anyone is content in there relationship including me ! Could things be better ? I dont know! its the mystery of life ... and i don't wanna miss out anymore i wanna experience it all ! I felt this way since i moved up to viroqua 3 year now pretty sure thats to long to hesitate on this thought .